Ok, since I was so bored today and it keeps bugging me for a few yrs, it's time for me to let it go...I'm going to let my heart rest, after all the pain it had gone through...This is the first time I'm going to write it everything in my blog and trash those memories away here....
It had been yrs since I've had my last crush on KC. I think I've only liked two guys b4...all frm sec sch. The first started since I was in sec one. Haha..very early hor..I started my puberty faster mah...ok, this guy RZ was frm the other class, same age as me. At first I didn't get into acquaintance with him until I spotted him frm the other class after sch.
I was a very hyperactive gal in sec sch, more hyper in sec one and two, I could even played basketball wif those guys whom I'm not befriend wif and just thinking abt it now, I can't believe I'm tht bold...Indeed I've changed alot..maybe I've grown more matured and more sensible le. This RZ drives me crazy. I would stay back just for him almost everyday and I would smtimes secretly follow him to wherever he goes( but I gave up halfway cos he keeps on walking and nv stopped! haha, I don have tht patience though).
He was a very handsome guy and I think alot of girls just get to like him and had a crush on him too...At least he brightened up my days during my sec sch life for 3 and 1/2 yrs. So how come only for 3 and 1/2 yrs? Because, in the third yr, tht is sec 3, he was going frm bad to worse, he retained and his photo looked as if he was a drug addict...I don like guys who doesn't have the motivation to move on..and he failed since he retained..haha...of course, it's hard to forget just like tht, so it took me for almost half yrs to forget abt him and hehe searching for a new 'target'.
tht's how it sums up to 3 and 1/2 yrs.
So wad abt KC? haha..I think my first saw him when I was playing basketball wif him and his frenz..I'm super hyper mah..but I think tht was when I'm sec 2 bah..he was a bit plump and cute cos he looked fat yet his eyes were so big! At tht time, I just wanted to play bb and didn't even care who he was, but why did I rem this? It's becos I've commented on him saying tht his eyes were big!
And I still rem tht! haha..it wasn't until during sec 3 camp tht I get to be fond of him. He slimmed down becos of his CCA as a NCC cadet. During the sec 3 camp, he was in my grp, and haha, I at first didn't even noe how to pronounce his name! Our grp had some other ppl too for abt 6-8 maybe. We worked as a team and we played those adventure club would play..tht was to climb up high and walked on a single rope, absailing and flying fox all these kind of stuffs..It was damn fun for me, I failed my rock climbing for 3 times and one of the bitch in my grp(I truely hated her, I guess the others also don like her) said tht my butt was too heavy to climb..hmm..for the first time, I may have to agree wif her, too much fats!
Wow, KC climbed the rock climbing with no sweat man! He was swift and liked a monkey, agility so good! He was the best out there! I don really rem how I got to like him...he was very handome indeed, but I don really like him becos of his looks. I liked him more becos of his characteristics. His personality was good and he liked to help ppl. Maybe I'm attracted to him by this way. Haha..despite my ugly looks, he helped me alot, so much better than tht RZ. tht 3 or 5 days camp(I don rem) was great! not only because of the games were fun but also partly because of him.
I rem I even gave 'molested' him by giving him a massage on the shoulders. haha don get the wrong idea as in I was flirting with him..I don qualify for tht. I just like to give ppl a massage to show off my massage skills and because he's in front of me and we both were waiting our turns to play the game so in the meantime, I massaged him. Thinking of tht, I would blush, can't believe wad I did the past times. However, he was in the normal academic and I was in the express class, so I'll graduate b4 him and RZ too.
And since tht time, I've nv forget him til now...I've once got his friendster frm azzy..and tried to contacted him..I've got his email add(MSN) and tried to chat wif him. Even though noeing tht he had a gf, I just wanna tok to him...however, the first time I've chatted wif him was a bloody shit! Somehow, I could sensed tht he does not want to tok to me and he had changed...no longer the guy I knew..chat wif him like no life liddat..and in a fit and trying to forget him, I've deleted his contact frm my MSN and friendster once.
I thought I was going to forget abt him and I did lived well enough w/o him and successfully stopped thinking abt him and tot I've succeeded when he sent an email to me. Although tht email was of nothing but just to help those sick ppl kind of email, but man was I surprised to receive his email! And once again, weakling me succumbed to this stupid infatuation. I found myself missing him somehow and added him again to my contact in MSN and friendster. Oh, I hated myself...I chatted wif him again, this time at least he did not chat like half dead though I could sense tht he doesn't wanted me to chat wif him.
I rem when NYP had open house and I saw him walking in the dirsction of my way wif his frenz and I wif my frenz and azzy was whispering to me:"hey, tht's KC! Go and say hi!" However, I've decided to let him go...my heart does skipped a beat but I just walked past him..I don even think he noes who the hell I am and tht's why he felt like toking to a stranger on MSN and lack the ethusiasm to cont' chatting...so wad's the point of hanging on liddat when u noe u won't be able to get together wif him anyway?
Wad a waste of time...and I 'm sure..I hope I've grown stronger now and I'm prepared to forget all these shit. If we ever crossed our paths agan, it's up to fate to decide if we should be brought abt together or walked on our parallel bridges. As for the MSN, I may chat wif u again as I like and if I sensed tht u're not interested, then fine wif me, I'll leave u alone as u wished, I won't force u. Right now, I do feel abit of loniness in my heart after blurting out all these things...maybe It's really time for me to look for another new 'target' hahahahaha....
I told myself tht let's leave this all to fate and who noes? I may find my mr right soon and who noes? He may be the one I already knew! So to conclude on my draggy story, certain memories, even though once sweet, were meant to be trashed away if it hurts u more than u valued them...so why keep? And let's embrace to a new love if it should ever comes...haha...wad if I'm ever going to be an old mate? touch wood! and hopefully not? Anyway, watever, leave to fate to decide..Oh..god!
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